I was returning home the other day after our noon time meeting where we had a discussion about the word “sanity” in the Second Step. The definition of “sanity” is: “the ability to think and behave in a normal and rational manner; sound mental health”. For many this idea that as alcoholics we are “insane” is, forgive the expression, a hard pill to swallow. For me it was relatively easy since my medical record would substantiate some visits to mind altering institutions to tighten the loose screws. It was easy for me to admit to the insanity. God’s restoration was a little more difficult to swallow early on but as I advanced in the steps that relationship was reformed and solidified.

At the meeting and on the ride home I was basking in the glory of feeling as if I was someone who could really share on this step because I was no longer insane, having been restored by the Lord. Full of self-satisfaction my mind shifted to my resolution to change my eating habits This was an attempt to lose the twenty extra pounds that I have been carrying around since quitting smoking at the beginning of the new millennium. For many years I had been suffering from the delusion that my late middle-aged body still resembled its younger form. Having been restored to sanity and no longer delusional about my weight I headed to my local supermarket.

I walked around the store listening to the canned music, looking at the canned food and even taking a break to go to the can. As I wandered I picked up a couple of items to get me on my way towards a new pants size. I went to the 14 Items Or Less check out and put my items on the belt. When I got to the cashier she looked at the belt and then looked at me and instead of saying “Did you find everything you need sir?” she said “Are you sure this is what you want sir”? Startled I look at my potential purchases and there I saw a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey Ice Cream a pint of Cherry Garcia Ice Cream , followed closely behind by a six pack of chocolate Slim Fast. The definition for delusion is: “an idiosyncratic belief or impression that is firmly maintained despite being contradicted by what is generally accepted as reality or rational argument, typically a symptom of mental disorder”. I guess its back to Step Two.

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